Roadblock

Have you ever watched The Amazing Race?  A Roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform. The other teammate can offer words of encouragement during the task, but it is still that first individual who has to successfully complete the task before the team can move on.  Failure to complete the Roadblock penalizes the team by 4 hours.

When you start on the road to a healthier lifestyle, usually the change is met with determination and enthusiasm.  Loss of that initial weight is your immediate reward and family encourages you to stay on the path.  You start to feel better and all is good and you trudge along towards the goal.

But suddenly the real world hits you.  There is too much stress, not enough money for better quality food.  The stress and added responsibility makes you too tired to whip up a fruit and vegetable smoothie...besides, you don't have the ingredients anyway...you spent Sunday afternoon at the nursing home with your mom and couldn't bear to go back to the store again.  But there IS microwave popcorn (Yikes, talk about a BAD choice for someone with Fatty Liver Disease!) and gosh darn it, you DESERVE to eat the entire bag, and a few candy bars too for good measure.  And a beer...not a lite one either.  If there had been hard liquor in the house, I probably would have had that too.

Why?  Because I am stuck behind a Roadblock...a Roadblock of my own making.  I am the one who needs to figure out how to deal with the stress/financial/time management issues as my mom faces the final stage of her life.  My husband has been extremely supportive with my mom through the years - especially when I started leaving for work at 7 am and not returning until 7 pm, and my mom was already heading for bed.  (It is not lost on us that my mom still recognizes my husband when he goes to visit her...but it takes her awhile to figure out who I am.)  He is just like a son to her, BUT, he is not.  That leaves him offering support from the side lines, I am the one who has to make the decisions and deal with the past as well as the future.  I am also the one who not only was crazy enough to buy microwave popcorn, but to pop it as well. 

My penalty for not navigating the roadblock properly?  Yep.  I GAINED weight this week!  First week since June 12th.  That hurt!  Even though I have messed up in the past, I managed to still lose.  This shows once again how important it is to eat the good stuff and forsake all the crap.  I also believe that it shows I have reached the point in my weight loss where I have little wiggle room.  Calories in are most likely matching calories out.  Not only do I have to step back and think about what I'm eating, it's most likely time to start an exercise routine.  I knew this day would come.  

yeah...right after I finish up that Halloween candy....