Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Stress

The problem with making a commitment to do anything on a regular basis is that once in awhile life gets in the way.  Back in June when all this liver stuff was new and scary, I made an excellent decision to create a blog in order to be held accountable for my actions.  It has worked amazingly well for me - I have that anxious moment on Wednesday mornings before I get on the scale, wondering what I'm going to have to admit to on that week's entry.  But it helps to keep me in line during the rest of the week.

The problem is that my next doctor's appointment is not until December - and there really isn't that much to talk about right now as far as my liver goes (the liver isn't exactly that exciting) but there is a heck of a lot going on in my life right now that adds to my stress level - and stress can be very detrimental to your liver.  What's going on you may ask.  So please bear with me while I list some of the things in a way to put it out there and take a deep breath and hopefully push some of the heavy energy aside.

My mom, who has lived with us for the last 17 years, is not doing well.  She has dementia...some days she's fairly good, some days she's not.  She has been diagnosed with cancer.  She is currently in a Rehabilitation and Health Center because a little over a month ago she fell down the stairs.  They are looking at sending her back home at the end of next week.  She has improved in her walking and balance to the point where there will be no more improvement.  But that doesn't necessarily mean that she is "fine" to come home.  When it was suggested that she stay there due to the dementia issues, we found out that she falls into a different category and so there are financial concerns now, since it would be "long term care."  In a nutshell, she makes too much money between my dad's measly pension and Social Security to qualify for federal/state financial aid, but too little to be able to pay for the facility herself.  She's in that gray area that most families are now finding themselves in as they care for their elderly parents.  Her shortfall is between $372 and $438 per month - depending on whether or not there are 30 or 31 days.  Where is an 86 year old woman who exhausted her savings a long time ago (mostly due to other medical expenses such as the heart attack she had when she was 77).  I have no brothers or sisters, so there is no other help, and we can't pay that.  So we are in this back and forth mode with the facility on what to do about mom.  I know she really wants to come home, and it would be great to give her some happiness during this final stage, but she also needs to be safe too.

Stress?  Just a tad.  But somehow I managed to get back on track as far as the weight goes.

Weight Lost This Week:    0.8 lbs.
Total Weight Lost:           14.8 lbs.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

BRAKE!

I knew this day would come.  The time when I stepped on the scale and sighed.   Because I hadn't lost anything that week.  Not even 2/10ths of a pound.  Nothing.  Natta.  Zilch.

Considering the week I had, I should be grateful that the scale didn't go UP.  We celebrated my husband's birthday which meant I ate and drank way more than I have lately - and there were other temptations too.  Especially the brownies.  Here is the run down:

1)  Birthday cake.  Chocolate.  Made by my daughter who is an excellent baker.  1 slice to celebrate is acceptable, 2 pieces is pushing the envelope a bit.  I pushed.  For breakfast.

2)  Dinner Out #1 - I had salad, grilled chicken, broccoli and asparagus!  That's good, right?  Oh yeah, and 1 1/2 large breadsticks.  And 20 oz. of light beer. 

3)  Birthday Celebration and Dinner Out #2 - We went to a mead tasting and took a 2 hour boat cruise.   Did the tasting...and had a glass of mead...and then we had some more mead on the boat...and some cheese and crackers...and chips and dip...and THEN went to dinner where I had a glass of light beer and a hummus sandwich with some potato wedges (which I was hoping were oven roasted - but I couldn't really tell).  But see?  I had a hummus sandwich!  Isn't that reasonable?

4)  Dinner Out #3 - I was going to be SO good, but the best laid plans of mice and men as they say.  I ordered the grilled salmon - certainly a healthy meal!  BUT.  Yes, there's always a but.  I had the migraine from hell.  Anyone who suffers from severe migraines knows that one of the best remedies is soda...as in name brand cola loaded with caffeine and sugar.  So in the name of being sociable, I drank my soda with the meal - sugar, caffeine and all.  2 of them.  It was for medicinal purposes!  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

5)  Miscellaneous Bad Stuff - The ice cream.  The Almond Joy.  A glass of diet soda.  No excuse.

6)  The Brownies - I had told someone I see in the course of my job about my mom's current situation (she is in a Rehabilitation and Health Center/nursing home after falling down the stairs) and her having a brownie with her lunch one day at the center.  My mom is diabetic, though currently it is controlled by diet.  Her roommate, bless her heart, told us, the nurses, the dietician and just about anyone else within earshot that my mom had eaten the brownie.  I know the lady was trying to look out for my mom and had her best interest at heart.  But my mom is 86, has dementia issues, has been diagnosed with cancer and may not be able to come back home - let her eat the gosh darn brownie!  So yesterday this woman who I had relayed my mom's story to came into the office with a plate of brownies - to remind me of the joy the little things give us.  With a smile she told me "Eat them all.  Enjoy it!  We never know what tomorrow brings."  So I did. 

The first slice of birthday cake and the brownies were the two "slip ups" all week I have absolutely no regrets over.  They both reminded me of the important things...family, friends...life.  Today starts another week.

Weight Lost This Week:     0.0 lbs.
Total Weight Lost:            14.0 lbs.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Be Careful of What Others Say in the Media

Last week I read an article and watched a video that have both weighed heavily on my mind.  They both disturbed me because of one piece in what was otherwise a very informative work.

The first was an article published in AARP magazine (and it's available on their website) titled Eating Disorders and Women Over 50.  While I applaud the efforts made to point out an issue that is not reserved for the young, one of the warnings given that you may have an eating problem was that you had lost more than 14 lbs. in 3 months. 

WHAT?  I would be hard pressed to find a reputable article that doesn't agree that losing 1 to 2 pounds a week is a healthy approach to weight loss.  Do the math...that translates to 13 to 26 lbs. in the same 3 month period - AS HEALTHY!  Furthermore...this is AARP after all and the majority of their readers are over 50...shouldn't they also be advising that if you are NOT trying to lose weight, and have lost 14 pounds in 3 months, then perhaps a doctor's visit is in order to rule out some serious medical condition...like cancer? 

My other moment of dismay was after watching a video as part of a weight loss/healthy lifestyle program where the person was talking about how bad she felt about the way she looked when she was a Size 12 and how great she feels now that she is a Size 6. 

How many of you just shuddered?  A 12 is a MEDIUM!  The average American Woman is a
Size 14.  I was saddened by the fact that a 12 was made out to be bad.  I even made that comment to her, and she very nicely replied along the lines that she was simply stating how she felt.  I totally understand that and admire her honesty, but the message was still there:  12 bad, 6 good.  I think it would have been better if she had stuck with how many pounds she lost or how changing her habits and attitudes made her feel better about herself without putting a size on it.

Let me tell you folks, if I shrink down to a Size 6, I am the next featured person in an AARP article about eating disorders.   

Meanwhile, I'll be happy with my 14 lbs. in 3 months and do a little dance, throw some confetti, grab a salad and keep on truckin.

Weight Lost This Week:    1.0 lbs.
Total Weight Lost:           14.0 lbs.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Breakfast And Lunch And Dinner

I learned a powerful lesson Labor Day Weekend.  I need to eat every meal or my body will revolt.

Saturday my husband and I worked at a street fair - which meant breakfast before 7 am...but then no lunch.  When we finally had dinner 12 hours later, I knew I was a little more hungry than usual, but I didn't think anything of it. I had skipped meals pre-liver diagnosis days, in fact, many meals.  Sometimes I noticed that my sugar levels were a little off, but most of the time it wasn't anything TOO unusual.  I just ate what I wanted until I wasn't hungry anymore...usually some fat laden food.  But on Saturday night, I ate as I have been these last few months.  A good, healthy meal.

Sunday was horrible.  For the first time since I've started this healthy eating lifestyle I was starving.  ALL DAY LONG.  No sooner had I finished breakfast when I was contemplating what else I could eat.  Unfortunately I also had a very light lunch, and though I was trying to make it until the start of a BBQ dinner being offered by the campgrounds where we were staying, I couldn't hold out.  When my willpower was strong, I ate some grapes.  When it wasn't, I nibbled on chips.  As the day went on, I became more and more obsessed with eating.  By 5 pm I was into the crackers (whole wheat and reduced fat) and hummus.  By 6:30 I had piled my plate high with pork BBQ, coleslaw, potato salad, boiled potato, two different broccoli salads, corn on the cob.  I grabbed a lemonade - the first sweet drink I've had in 2 1/2 month.  I ate until I could no longer (yes, loved every single minute of it, but  believe me, it was a total meltdown).  I started convincing myself how good I had been.  I skipped the hot dog.  I didn't put butter on the corn.  I left the roll behind.  I didn't even look at the dessert table.  I only drank half of the lemonade before replacing it with plain water.  Oh yeah, all this while my plate is full of mayonnaise, and we won't even think about the caloric intake.  But I had felt miserable the entire day - craving food like crazy - and this was all delicious!  Suddenly though I was full - ridiculously full.  My stomach wasn't too happy with me, but that still didn't stop me from nibbling on some more chips and dip later on at a neighbor's campsite. 

It has taken all of Monday and Tuesday to get back to normal.  One bad meal does not change the weight loss - as documented by this week's numbers.  What was really my undoing was skipping a meal on Saturday.  This is the first day I feel okay again - once more in control.  I've had to take a deep breath and say "okay, we learned a lesson here.  No skipping meals."  It had wrecked havoc with my system - metabolism - whatever you want to call it.  Which means in a little over 2 weeks when my husband and I work a 2 day festival, I have to be sure that I have a healthy lunch - something with me that I can eat when I need to.  I've come too far to do this again.

Weight Lost This Week:    0.8 lbs.
Total Weight Lost:           13.0 lbs.